OUR DAUGHTERS ARE A BLESSING, NOT A BURDEN

Children are no doubt a great gift from Almighty Allah to all parents. Parents must think of their children as such treasures that the all the wealth and material resources are worthless as when compared to one's children. We, as parents, should thank and be grateful to Almighty Allah for blessing us with children whether they are boys or girls. Today, it is quite disheartening to see that some parents rejoice when the newborn child is a male and show their dissatisfaction when the child is a female. But, this should not be the attitude. Islam does not condone this type of behavior, as such was the manner of the parents in the time of ignorance.

In pre-Islamic times, the Arabs used to be disheartened and annoyed with the birth of girls, so that a father, when informed his wife had given birth to a girl, said,"By Allah she is not as blissful as a son; her defense is crying and her care is but stealing!"
 

He meant she could not defend her father and her family except by screaming and crying, not by fighting and carrying arms. She also cannot be good to them and care for them except by taking from her husband's money to give to her family. Their traditions allowed the father to bury his daughter alive for actual poverty, or for expected poverty, or out of fear of a disgrace she might bring upon them when she grew up. In that context, the Qur'an says, denouncing and derogating them:

 

“And when the girl-child who was buried alive is asked. Upon what sin was she killed for.”[Surah al-Takweer, Verses 8-9] 
 

The Qur'an also describes the condition of fathers when daughters were born:

 

“And when one among of them receives the glad tidings of a daughter, his face turns black for the day, and he remains seething. Hiding from the people because of the evil of the tidings; "Will he keep her with disgrace, or bury her beneath the earth?"; pay heed! Very evil is the judgment they impose!”  [Surah al-Nahl, Verse 58-59]
 

The Qur'an led an uncompromising campaign against those cruel people who kill children-whether male or female. Allah says in the Qur'an:

 

“Indeed ruined are those who slay their children out of senseless ignorance and forbid the sustenance which Allah has bestowed upon them, in order to fabricate lies against Allah; they have undoubtedly gone astray and not attained the path.” [Surah al-Anaam, Verse 140]
 

And Allah Almighty says:

 

“And do not kill your children, fearing poverty; We shall provide sustenance to them as well as to you; indeed killing them is a great mistake.”[Surah Bani Israel, Verse 31]
 

Some ancient laws gave the father the right to sell his daughter if he wished; while others allowed him to hand her to another man who would either kill her or own her if the father killed the other man's daughter. 

When Islam was revealed, it decreed a daughter - like a son - was a gift from Allah, to be granted to whomever Allah wishes of His worshipers: 

 

“For Allah only is the kingship of the heavens and the earth; He creates whatever He wills; He may bestow daughters to whomever He wills, and sons to whomever He wills. Or may mix them, the sons and daughters; and may make barren whomever He wills; indeed He is All Knowing, Able.” [Surah al-Shoora, Verses 49-50]
 

The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) of Islam made Paradise the recompense of every father who conducts himself well with his daughters, has patience in raising them, provides their moral education, and observes Allah's commands concerning them until they come of age or until his . The Prophet (blessings and peace be upon him) made the place of the father in Paradise next to him. Hadrat Anas reported that the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu Alaihi wa Sallam said,

 

“Whoever brings up two girls till they reach the age of puberty, he and I will come on the Day of Resurrection like this,” (and he joined his blessed fingers.)
 

The beloved Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon Him) has stated that

 

“When a boy is born, then he brings one Noor (light) and when a girl is born, then she brings two Noors.”
 

It has been narrated in a Hadith that the Holy Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon Him) has stated that

 

“If parents are kind and generous towards their daughters, then they will be so close to Him (The Holy Prophet Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon Him) in Jannah, like one finger is to the next.”
 

The Holy Prophet (Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon Him) has also stated that

 

“The person who is faced with hardship due to his daughters, and makes Sabr (is patient), then his daughters will be a Pardah (curtain) between him and the Hell-fire.”
 

Hadrat Ibn ‘Abbas reported that the Messenger of Allah SallAllahu Alaihi wa Sallam said,

 

“...and whoever brings up three daughters or a like number of sisters, training them well and showing kindness to them till Allah enriches them (i.e. till they reach the age of puberty), Allah will guarantee Paradise for him.” A man asked: “O Messenger of Allah! Does this apply to two also?” He said: “even to two.” If they had asked whether to one also, the Messenger of Allah would have said that, “even to one...”
 

Sayyiduna Ibn 'Abbas (Radi Allahu Ta'ala Anhu) recounted,

 

“Whoever had a female who was not buried nor insulted by him, and had not preferred his male children to her, Allah admits him to Paradise.” 
 

Daughters are without doubt a great blessing from Almighty Allah. They are a means of salvation and a path to Jannah (Heaven) for their parents. The crux of one narration states that

 

“One who loves his daughters and withstands the hardship of grooming and getting them married, Almighty Allah makes Jannah compulsory (Waajib) on him and keeps him protected from the Fire of Hell.”
 

And in another Hadith, the beloved Prophet SallAllaho Alaihi wa Sallam said: 

 

“They will be a shield for him from the Fire.”
 

The beloved Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi wa Sallam commanded:

 

“Whenever you buy anything from the market place first present it to your female children then to your male children.”
 

Hadrat Khwaja Uthman al-Haaroni (Radi Allahu Ta’ala Anhu), the Spiritual Guide (Peer-o-Murshid) of Khwaja-e-Khwajgaan, Hadrat Shaykh Mu’een al-Din Khwaja Ghareeb Nawaaz Chishti Ajmeri (Radi Allahu Ta’ala Anhu), states:

 

“Daughters are a gift from Almighty Allah. Those parents who are kind towards them, then Almighty Allah is generous towards such parents. Those who are merciful to their daughters, Almighty Allah is Merciful towards them.”
 

The great saint, Hadrat Khwaja Uthman Harooni (Radi Allahu Ta’ala Anhu) also said,

 

“When a girl is born to a family, then between the parents and Hell, there shall be a distance of five hundred years.”
 

It has been stated that:

 

When parents rejoice at the birth of a daughter, this is greater than making Tawaaf of the Kaaba seventy times.
 

When Imam Ahmad Ibn Hanbal (Radi Allahu Ta’ala Anhu) would hear that one of his relatives or friends had a baby girl, he would say to them,

 

"Congratulations for the Prophets were mostly fathers of daughters."
 

Muslims should also remember that the family of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon Him) is from his beloved daughter Sayyidah Fatima Zahra (Radi Allahu Ta’ala Anha).

With these open and authentic texts, with the enhanced and repeated good news, the birth of girls is not at all a fearful burden nor is it a bad omen. On the contrary, it is a blessing to be thanked for and a mercy to be desired and requested because it is a blessing of the Almighty and a reward to be gained.

Dear brothers and sisters! Rejoice on the birth of your daughters, love and guide them and give them that which is due to them from your belongings. Do not deprive them of their inheritance as they also have say in this. Remember! Daughters are a blessing and not a burden.

DAUGHTERS - A BLESSING

Allaah Almighty says (what means): “To Allah belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth; He creates what He wills. He gives to whom He wills female [children], and He gives to whom He wills males. Or He makes them [both] males and females, and He renders whom He wills barren. Indeed, He is Knowing and Competent.” [Quran 49:50] Allah is the One, based on His ultimate wisdom, who grants whomever He wills sons and daughters; He grants sons only to whomever He wills, and grants daughters only to whomever He wills, and if He so wills, He makes whomever He wills infertile.

We notice in the above verse that the mention of daughters preceded that of sons, and the scholars commented on this saying: “This is to hearten daughters and encourage kindness towards them, because many fathers feel burdened by receiving a daughter. The common practice of the people during the pre-Islamic era was to hate receiving daughters, to the extent that they would bury them alive; therefore, it is as if Allah is saying to people: `This inferior child in your estimation takes precedence in My scale.' He also mentions daughters first to indicate their weakness, and that they are therefore more deserving of care and attention.”

Such honouring of daughters is the complete opposite of how people were accustomed to dealing with females in the pre-Islamic era, when they would degrade women and consider them a part of their wealth, and if news of a baby girl would come to any of them, it would be as if he was hit by a thunderstorm; Allaah says (what means): which means: “And when one of them is informed of [the birth of] a female, his face becomes dark, and he suppresses grief. He hides himself from the people because of the ill of which he has been informed. Should he keep it in humiliation or bury it in the ground?  Unquestionably, evil is what they decide.” [Quran 58:59]

It is said that some enemies of Qays ibn ‘Aasim At-Tameemi, who was a pre-Islamic Arab, attacked his premises and captured his daughter. Later, one of these enemies married her. After some time, the clan of Qays and that of his enemies reconciled, so they gave this daughter of his the freedom to go back to her father or remain with her husband, and she preferred to stay with her husband. At that point, Qays took a pledge upon himself to bury alive any new daughter that he would receive, and the Arabs imitated him after that. It was, therefore, this man who introduced this evil practice, and thus he will shoulder his own sin as well as the sin of all those who did it thereafter.

One of the companions who had killed his daughter in the era that preceded Islam narrated his story: "We would worship idols in the pre-Islamic era and kill our daughters. I had a daughter, who, when she was old enough to comprehend and talk, would rejoice whenever she saw me and would immediately respond. One day, I called her and told her to follow me, so she did, until we reached a well that belonged to my tribe. I then took her by her hand and threw her in the well, and the last thing I heard her cry was: ‘O father! O father!'" (Ad-Daarimi)

During the era that preceded Islam, there were two methods that people used to kill their daughters:

· At the time of the delivery of the child, a man would order his wife to give birth next to a hole dug in the ground; if the newborn was a male, she would return home with him, otherwise, she would throw her into the pit and bury her alive, or:

· When the daughter reached six years of age, the man would tell his wife to adorn and perfume her, then he would take her to a well in the desert and tell her to look down into the well; when she would do this, he would push her into it from behind.

There were some men among these people who would forbid such acts, such as Sa’sa’ah ibn Naajiyah At-Tameemi, who would go to those attempting to kill their daughter offering money to ransom their lives.

There are people nowadays who share these same pre-Islamic beliefs; if they are granted only girls, which is of course something decreed only by Allah, they become angry, discontent and grieved.

With the advent of Islam, the darkness of that era vanished and Allah enjoined kindness, love and compassion towards girls. Taking good care of girls was encouraged, as was giving them special attention in the process of their upbringing. In fact, Islam has designated a special reward for raising them that is not granted for raising sons. Anas reported that the Prophet said: "He who raises two daughters until their puberty will be with me in Paradise like this", and he symbolized the proximity by showing two of his fingers with a slight gap between them." (Muslim)

`Aa’ishah(ra) related: "A woman by the name of Jameelah came to me with her two daughters. She asked me for charity but found nothing with me except a date, which I gave her. She divided it between her two daughters and ate nothing herself; then, she got up and left. After this, the Messenger of Allah came, so I narrated this story to him; he said: “He who is involved (in the responsibility) of (nurturing) daughters and is generous to them, will have them as a fortification for himself against the Hellfire.” (Al-Bukhari & Muslim).

In another narration of this incident, `Aa’ishah (ra) related: "A poor woman came to me with her two daughters. I gave her three dates; she gave each of them a date and was about to eat the third one when one of her daughters asked her for it, so she divided it between her two daughters and ate nothing herself, and I liked what she did. After this, the Messenger of Allaah came, so I told him what she did, and he said: 'Allaah obligated Paradise for her due to this date, and (also) freed her from Hell.'"(Muslim)

Pay close attention to wording of the following narration: the Prophet said: “He who is tested by (the guardianship) of daughters….” Why did he use the word: “…tested…”? He said it because raising them is a responsibility and a test from Allaah to see how His slave would act: Will he be kind to them? Will he raise them correctly?

The nature of this responsibility was further clarified in other narrations, such as: “If he patiently feeds them and endows them with clothing …" (Ibn Majah)., and:  “…Provides for them and marries them off…” (At-Tabarani)., and: “…Properly raises them and fears Allah in the manner in which he deals with them.” (At-Tirmithi)

This is what is required when dealing with daughters: kindness, which results in Paradise, as the Prophet(saw) said: “Whoever Allah has given two daughters and is kind towards them, will have them as a reason for him to be admitted into Paradise.” And: “Whoever Allah has given three daughters and he perseveres through raising them, will have them as a shield for him from the Hellfire on the Day of Resurrection.”

A daughter is a great bounty and an honour granted by Allah, Hasan (ra) said: “Girls are a source of reward and sons are a blessing; rewards are in one's favour (on the Day of Judgement) whereas one will be held accountable for blessings.”

Thus, it is incorrect to believe that one has been humiliated by being granted a girl; rather it is an honour, a bounty and a gate towards Paradise. Daughters are a greate responsibility to rear, and entail greater expenditure, and this is why the reward for raising them correctly is greater than that for a son.

Once, one of the leaders of the believers was receiving people when a small daughter of his entered the room, so he kissed her; a Bedouin was also in attendance and saw this, so he mentioned daughters in a very evil manner. A wise man who was also present witnessed all of this and therefore said: "O leader of the believers! Do not listen to him. I swear by Allaah, that it is they (i.e., girls) who stay up to care for the sick in the family, who show mercy towards the elders, and who stand next to men during hardships."

A man was granted a baby girl, so he became angry and isolated himself from his wife for a long time, and after few months, he overheard his wife reciting the verse (which means): “…But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you…” [Quran 2:216]

How many girls have been far more merciful and beneficial to their parents than their brothers? How many times has a son been a source of grief for his parents, to the point that they wished he was never born?

Why do we raise this topic now? It is due to the vicious attacks on the Muslims under the pretext of defending 'women’s rights' which is in reality an evil attempt to play on the emotions of women so that they will become rebellious towards their fathers and husbands, and to encourage them to leave their homes and demand their 'freedom'. This is a gate towards evil and immorality which gradually attracts women and then traps them in prohibitions. One cause of girls falling into this is people neglecting their daughters and undermining their rights, which makes them easily fall into the traps of the hypocritical writers and columnists, male and female, who wish to see corruption prevail.

It is enough of an honour for girls that the Prophets may Allah exalt their mention, had daughters and that most of the children of our beloved Prophet(saw) were daughters, namely: Zaynab(ra), Ruqayyah(ra), Umm Kalthoom(ra) and Fatimah (ra) .