CHOOSING RIGHT LIFE PARTNER

Marriage is Sunnah and one of the most liked acts, if done in good intention because its benefits are many fold. Marriages does not only save the individuals from committing Haram acts (zina) but also save the society at large fro going astray. We see how west has crossed all limits and now termed as one of the most open society where no one respected but only desires are respected and served. Therefore, marriage is the best thing to do.

Once one decides to do marriage, he/she should look for the person who is not only good in character but also a fearful muslim because a person of upright character can become a real better half. Marriage is a decision that individuals have to take weighing the pros and cons of their decision. And no forceful decisions can be made as we see parents forcing their kids to marry a person of their choice. It is no sin to choose life partner for kids, but it is not permissible to force them because their children have to lead their lives with their better halves not the parents.

Second and the most important thing is, while deciding for marriage, one should not go beyond the prescribed limits of Islam. Today, young boys and girls call it their right to marry the person of their choice, out of emotions, and then leave their homes and their parents and after sometime when they realize their mistake they come back with empty hands. This is also wrong. There is a respectable way to do everything.

The evils have grown in our society only because we have left Islam and have adopted the modernist life style. This life style looks good apparently but in real this leads to broken families, broken personalities and committing sins. Marriage should not be done to TEST AND TRY a person; rather it should be dealt as a serious matter, matter of life. The individual whose life’s most important matter is considered should also be asked and encouraged to speak so that when the final decision is made, both girl and boy are happy and ready to accept this biggest responsibility.

Girls are mostly forced to get married to a person of their parent’s choice even when they are not ready. They mostly stay quiet and accept it calling it their fate. This is not what Islam says. Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.w cancelled nikah of a young virgin girl whose father married her without her will.

Narrated Al-Qasim: A woman from the offspring of Ja'far was afraid lest her guardian marry her (to somebody) against her will. So she sent for two elderly men from the Ansar, 'AbdurRahman and Mujammi', the two sons of Jariya, and they said to her, "Don't be afraid, for Khansa' bint Khidam was given by her father in marriage against her will, then the Prophet cancelled that marriage." (Bukhari Book #86, Hadith #99)

Proof 2:

Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: A virgin came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) allowed her to exercise her choice. (Abu Dawud Book #11, Hadith #2091)

Therefore, it is wrong on part of parents if they try to impose their choice on their kids when it comes to the marriage of their children and it is also wrong if the children do anything out of emotions and then regret and ruin their lives.

Choosing life partner is very important decision so we should be looking for a person who is pious and righteous not the one who has the only qualities of being rich and good looking.