CHOOSING RIGHT LIFE PARTNER

Marriage is Sunnah and one of the most liked acts, if done in good intention because its benefits are many fold. Marriages does not only save the individuals from committing Haram acts (zina) but also save the society at large fro going astray. We see how west has crossed all limits and now termed as one of the most open society where no one respected but only desires are respected and served. Therefore, marriage is the best thing to do.

Once one decides to do marriage, he/she should look for the person who is not only good in character but also a fearful muslim because a person of upright character can become a real better half. Marriage is a decision that individuals have to take weighing the pros and cons of their decision. And no forceful decisions can be made as we see parents forcing their kids to marry a person of their choice. It is no sin to choose life partner for kids, but it is not permissible to force them because their children have to lead their lives with their better halves not the parents.

Second and the most important thing is, while deciding for marriage, one should not go beyond the prescribed limits of Islam. Today, young boys and girls call it their right to marry the person of their choice, out of emotions, and then leave their homes and their parents and after sometime when they realize their mistake they come back with empty hands. This is also wrong. There is a respectable way to do everything.

The evils have grown in our society only because we have left Islam and have adopted the modernist life style. This life style looks good apparently but in real this leads to broken families, broken personalities and committing sins. Marriage should not be done to TEST AND TRY a person; rather it should be dealt as a serious matter, matter of life. The individual whose life’s most important matter is considered should also be asked and encouraged to speak so that when the final decision is made, both girl and boy are happy and ready to accept this biggest responsibility.

Girls are mostly forced to get married to a person of their parent’s choice even when they are not ready. They mostly stay quiet and accept it calling it their fate. This is not what Islam says. Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.w cancelled nikah of a young virgin girl whose father married her without her will.

Narrated Al-Qasim: A woman from the offspring of Ja'far was afraid lest her guardian marry her (to somebody) against her will. So she sent for two elderly men from the Ansar, 'AbdurRahman and Mujammi', the two sons of Jariya, and they said to her, "Don't be afraid, for Khansa' bint Khidam was given by her father in marriage against her will, then the Prophet cancelled that marriage." (Bukhari Book #86, Hadith #99)

Proof 2:

Narrated Abdullah ibn Abbas: A virgin came to the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) and mentioned that her father had married her against her will, so the Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) allowed her to exercise her choice. (Abu Dawud Book #11, Hadith #2091)

Therefore, it is wrong on part of parents if they try to impose their choice on their kids when it comes to the marriage of their children and it is also wrong if the children do anything out of emotions and then regret and ruin their lives.

Choosing life partner is very important decision so we should be looking for a person who is pious and righteous not the one who has the only qualities of being rich and good looking.

BENEFITS OF FAMILY

Marriage serves the purpose of bringing two families together, encouraging reconciliation between them, protecting the rights of women and children, and producing righteous offspring who will be happy in this life and the Hereafter.

Allah said:

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا

Live with them in kindness, for if you dislike them, then perhaps you dislike something but Allah has placed therein much good.

Surah An-Nisa 4:19

REAL LOVE STARTS AFTER NIKKAH

I Bring You Another Story With A Powerful Message...Please read And Share And Spread The Awareness As This Is A Very Common Mistake These Days...Jazak ALLAHU Khair...
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Some sisters assume that since they are properly covered, its okay for them to sit around and talk, laugh, joke, etc with the men, but thats not right, even if he is the Shaikh.

ALLAH says: “. . .then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable manner.” [al-Ahzaab:32]

So talk to them when there is a specific need, and in a manner that is not necessarily rude, yet it is polite but firm.

Staring at the brothers or checking them out is NOT Hijaab.

ALLAH orders us to lower your gaze in the above verse. Why? Because a single look can say more than a thousand words.

So, even if you are properly covered, keep those eyes down, conduct yourself with Hayaa, and avoid fitnah. Chatting on the internet/phone is not part of Hijab; it is haraam for a man or woman to listen to each others words with enjoyment, for fear of fitnah (temptation).
There is no such thing as were just friends in Islam.

Talking to non-Mahrams is wrong even if it is through the internet or telephone.

There are too many stories of illegal relationships, fornications, broken homes, extra-marital affairs and runaway brides to even mention.

That is why in Islam anything that leads to haraam is also haraam.

ALLAH says: Do not (even) come close to fornication, for it is an indecency, and its way is evil. (Surah Israa:32)

May ALLAH guide us all in sha Allah.

DO MEN NEED FIRST WIFE'S APPROVAL TO MARRY ANOTHER WOMAN?

The idea of marrying more than one woman is greatly misunderstood, not least amongst Muslim men!

Before the advent of Islam, it was quite normal for a man to take many wives in marriage, or even to take them and not marry at all. The Bible tells us that Solomon had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines.

It was a revolutionary thing to declare that a man may take up to four wives only. And there is more, because that permission must be understood in its proper context.

The verse allowing men to take more than one wife was revealed after the Battle of Uhud, in which ten per cent of the Muslim men had been killed. Allah says what means:

And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice].}(An-Nisai, 4:3)

Now, in those days there was no kind of social security. If a woman didn’t have a husband, she had no one to provide for her. To put it simply, without a husband she would starve.

In a society where there were not enough men to equal the number of women wanting to marry, it 

was revealed that a man could take more than one wife. But we must understand that this was to provide for her and to care for her.

In fact, taking a second wife is something encouraged by faith and a desire to please Allah. It is not a matter of fulfilling sexual urges.

If Muslim men today are taking a second wife to spice up their own sex life, they are quite misunderstanding what Islam is saying. In taking a second wife, a Muslim man should be taking a more pious wife or a woman who is in need.

In direct answer to your question, then, according to scholars, the Shari`ah does not require the husband to get the consent of the first wife for a second marriage. This, of course, assumes that the conditions for a second marriage are right according to the Shari`ah. In such a case he can legally go ahead and marry.

But, as we have said, the permission to marry more than one wife is given in the Quran in the context of protecting widows, as they need to be taken care of.

In the very same verse it is stated clearly that if a man cannot treat his wives with equity, he should not marry more than one woman. This is a clause usually ignored or taken lightly by many men, depriving women of the rights Allah Almighty has granted.

It is also worth mentioning that the bride has the right before marriage to require that her fiancé agrees in advance to certain conditions of hers, in case he is interested in pursuing another marriage later on.

Actually, this can be part of the marriage contract. As it is the duty of Muslims to fulfill all obligations, the Muslim husband has no choice but to honor such a condition.

As in so many cases, there is a very fine balance between understanding what a law says and also understanding what a law is intended for.

As Muslims, we seek to become Mu’mineen, or “good Muslims,” real men and women of faith. Islamic Shari’ah is intended to help us achieve that, in sha Allah .

I hope this helps answer your question.

RAPING WITH THE EYES

Are you one of those who check out ladies on the streets , bus , train or anywhere you see them ? You check her out and in a flash you can tell all about her size and shape. You can also tell color of her lipstick , how her hair was done and what clothes she was wearing , etc ,etc ....

Do you end up saying "wow"...

In modern western terms this is called : Checking her out.

Its also called : Raping with the Eyes.

Rape : The crime of forcing another person to submit to sex acts, especially sexual intercourse

But hey , we did not do anything. We did not even touched or talked with her. How could i have "raped" her with my eyes ? For that ask yourself say... Did not you look at places where you are not allowed to look at non-mehram women ? Somewhere in your mind , you got a naughty thought about her. All said and done.... let us now look from ladies point of view ? Well "THEY DO NOT LIKE IT AT ALL" .

Jareer ibn Abdullaah said: "I asked the Messenger of Allaah (pbuh) about an accidental glance at a woman. He commanded me to turn my gaze away." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi). Commenting on this hadeeth, al-Mubaarakpoori said: "Accidental" means that his gaze fell on a non-mahram woman unintentionally. "He commanded me to turn my gaze away" means that we are not to look a second time, because the first glance was not by choice and would be forgiven, but any further glances would be counted as sin, and we should heed the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things)…" [al-Noor 24:30]"

The Messenger of Allaah (pbuh) said: "O Ali, do not follow a glance with another, for you will be forgiven for the first, but not for the second." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi)

And if you think that Allah swt does not know where you were looking and what thought went through your mind ? Allah says, “Allah knows the fraud of the eyes, and all that the breasts conceal.” (Surah Ghafir 40:19).

“The adultery of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a forbidden thing), the adultery of the tongue is the talk,… and the inner self wishes and desires and the private parts testify all this or deny it.” [Sahih Al-Bukhari (no. 6612), Muslim, Ahmed].

Misconception among men We are allowed to look (meaning stare/gaze) at non-muslims women. We are allowed to look at the exposed parts of the ladies those who have exposed themselves. We are ONLY NOT allowed look at muslim girls & it is a sin to look (meaning to stare/gaze) at a muslim lady wearing burkha/hijab. But hey , even if it is sin , it is a minor sin.

The prophet (pbuh) has said "Beware of small sins because small sins when accumulated turn in to a big fire..." You must have all heard this hadith : Ibn Abbas narrated that the Messenger of Allah (saws) passed by two graves and said, "One of them is (getting punishment in the grave) for not cleaning himself after urine...." Related by Bukhari and Muslim. So when the person goes through such a severe punishment for "small sins"... then you be rest assured that your these so called "small sins" (done on daily basis) have turned in a big heap of fire. One of the fitnahs (temptations) with which we are tested is the fitnah of women, as the Prophet (pbuh) said: “I have not left behind me any fitnah (temptation) more harmful to men than women.”

What needs to be done:

1 – Faith in Allaah. Faith in Allaah and fear of Allaah provide a safety valve and protect a person against committing haraam actions and following his own whims and desires. If the believer becomes aware that Allaah is always watching and if he ponders the meanings of His names and attributes, such as the All-Knowing, the All-Hearing, the All-Seeing, the Watchful, the Reckoner, the Preserver, the All-Encompassing, that will generate fear of Him in secret and in public, and will put a stop to disobedience towards Allaah, and will reduce the strength of desire that leads many people to commit haraam actions.

2 – Lowering the gaze and avoiding looking at haraam things The gaze can generate bad thoughts in the heart, which then lead to ideas and then to desires, then to will and resolve, and then inevitably to doing haraam things. Think about the meaning of this verse which makes a connection between the first steps towards haraam and the end result. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All-Aware of what they do” [al-Noor 24:30]

3 – Warding off evil thoughts Bad thoughts pose a danger to the heart… If a person dwells on them and does not push them away, they will develop into an idea, then into will and resolve, then this will inevitably lead to haraam actions. Beware of dwelling on passing thoughts; rather what you must do is to ward them off and crowd them out with good thoughts. The treatment, then, is to ward off these passing thoughts and keep yourself busy with beneficial thoughts.

4 – Marriage It was narrated that Abd-Allaah ibn Masood said: The Prophet (pbuh) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, and whoever cannot, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhari.

5 – Fasting – because of the hadeeth quoted above, in which it says, “…and whoever cannot, let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” Narrated by al-Bukhari. The less a person eats, the weaker his desire becomes, and the weaker his desire is, the less sins he commits.

6 – Keeping away from bad companions. The Prophet (pbuh) said: “A man will follow the way of his close friends, so let each one of you look at who he takes as a close friend.” Narrated by Abu Dawood.